Where is He

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him.                        -Nahum 1:7

I find myself in a season where there is a lot of raw pain driving me to my knees in prayer.  A friend in hospital is losing her valiant fight with cancer but is trying so hard to hold on to life for her family.  Another friend's husband files for divorce and moves in with his mistress leaving her and her children devastated.  Another friend gets passed over for a very deserved promotion, again.  Another friend is dealing with a severe mental illness situation that just won't seem to right itself with a family member that is just draining and overwhelming.  Another friend is dealing with interpersonal conflict in a ministry situation that has been hurtful and consuming.  Another friend is dealing with the fall out and broken heart from family relationships completely severed and canceled.  Another friend is dealing with the paralysis of anxiety in a loved one that is wreaking havoc on their home.  The world we live in is just so much right now.

Where is He.

I think one of the hardest lessons I'm forever learning on my spiritual journey with Jesus is rather than placing Him at fault with the pain of this world, it is to invite Him into my grief, my confusion, my doubt and my fear with me.  We can blame Him and get angry which leads to isolation, or we can cry out and invite Him to enter the sorrow with us knowing that it grieves His heart too.  To tap into the strength and peace of the Almighty in times when it feels the walls are closing in.  It's truly the only way to survive.  I recall the times when I had no words, I was out of tears and all I could do is just cling to my Bible and say the name Jesus over and over.  He is the lifeline.  He is trustworthy.

This side of Heaven we aren't guaranteed anything and man that stinks!  We aren't guaranteed prosperity, we aren't guaranteed everything to go the way we want it, we aren't guaranteed comfort and we aren't guaranteed that our hearts will not break.  This side of Heaven holds a spiritual battle for our very souls and the enemy is smart and sneaky and relentless for destruction.  So, how is God good?

The goodness of God is mutually exclusive to the feeling of things going good, or well, in our lives.  He is good, faithful, trustworthy, and has a plan we can't even imagine in our limited human minds.  Reconciling the two is something that we just have to accept the tension between and trust who He says He is and that He will do what He says He's going to do.  That is faith.  Simple but not easy.  Especially when it hurts.

God can redeem.  God can restore.  God is still in the miracle business.  We just have to keep taking one step after the other and do the next right thing.  We might not ever understand it this side of Heaven, but He who is able can and will do it.  He is faithful and we can hold Him to His word.  

This song, called The Goodness of God being sung here by my favorite CeCe Winans, has been on repeat for me lately because I'm proclaiming in faith who I know He has been and will be despite how things feel.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  -Psalm 27:13